Success is easy to find. Just drive toward St. Louis but turn left before you get there. Really, it’s that simple. Simple, unless you are not looking for a small town in rural north east Arkansas with a population of just over 200.

We often think of success as something that is tied to big accomplishments, when in fact, an abiding sense of success is rarely tied to big accomplishments. That feeling of achievement is rarely felt just a few weeks or even days later. Achieved goals are, more often than not, followed by the setting of more ambitious goals and the trek toward the new ‘ultimate’ goal. It’s a vicious cycle that in reality, never results in a deep sense of contentment.

Research has shown that a deep sense of accomplishment is more likely to be felt by individuals with a steady stream of small accomplishments than those who express interest in only major accomplishments. Our internal sense of success is rarely tied to a specific event, positive or negative. Our self-concept is based more on our beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of achieving both at home and work. Certainly, specific events can be crucial, but it is our response to those events and not the event itself that is the determining factor.

Some of the most outwardly appearing ‘successful’ people in the world are up to their ear lobes in debt, have few deeply fulfilling personal relationships, and never experience a feeling of contentment. I coached and counseled hundreds of people who, despite tons of professional and personal accomplishment, are never happy and never able to just enjoy and afternoon off without feeling guilty because they aren’t chipping away at that ever-present to-do list.

Success is, plain and simple, an internal feeling of contentment that no accomplishment, job, amount of money or person will ever give you. If you don’t feel successful where you are right now, no amount of accomplishment will be able to give that to you.

You cannot look at a person and discern how successful they are any more than your outward appearance is any indication of how successful you are. Despite what you see in TV commercials, success is truly an inside job.

Sheryl Crowe put it best in her song Soak up the Sun, “Its not having what you want, its wanting what you’ve got.”